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F&D Story Tryout
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 Group admin 
I'm still planning on doing the series, I may even write it in book form. So here is a test of my writing skill.

(The scene takes place in the opening hours of the Battle of Reach, three companies of ODSTs have been deployed to defend an armoury. In this segment you'll see the scene from Private Creston's point of view.)

The HEV shuddered as it's parachute was deployed, nearing the battle below. Creston grabbed his grenade launcher and put a round in, meanwhile the teams Captain was giving their orders. "As soon as we hit the deck you need to rally on my position. Covenant are al over this area already, we need to head to the armoury's main oors and seal them off before they get inside."

Creston's drop pod slammed into the ground and the door opened. There was a problem, he landed facing a large rock so the door only opened half a meter. The private lossened the straps holding him in and tried to tip the pod over using his legs, to no avail.

He heard a noise outside, a screech. At that moment a Jackal forced it's head into the pod, clawing at the trooper. Creston fought back, but he was at a disadvatage, so he tried to grab his M6D sidearm. As the Jackal was flailing it's way in, a knife breached it's skull. The now lifeless body was pulled out, and another trooper peered in.

"Your stuck in a bad place, don't worry, I got this," Mills then tipped the drop pod so the access pointed towards the sky. "Come on Cres, the Captain needs us at the rally point."


That's all I have right now. Thoughts? Improvements?
Permalink
| June 3, 2011, 9:27 am
Sounds pretty cool so far. Just check grammer (which for some reason is very difficult to catch on Mocpages). What is this for exactly?
Permalink
| June 4, 2011, 10:17 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting christian boaz
Sounds pretty cool so far. Just check grammer (which for some reason is very difficult to catch on Mocpages). What is this for exactly?

It's for Fire and Darkness, and ODST story I have been planning/writing for some time now.

It'll be tricky to build, based on what I've planned.
Permalink
| June 4, 2011, 10:21 pm
Quoting Eric 'Hawk' Mickle
It's for Fire and Darkness, and ODST story I have been planning/writing for some time now.

It'll be tricky to build, based on what I've planned.

That happens to me alot when I think of some thing. If you need any help you can bounce ideas off of me if you like. I know all my mocs suck but i havent uploaded any thing good for months because my "Dark Ages" pretty much started this year (my junior year of high school) because i got a job and i was taking college and hight school classes.
Also i have a pretty good ODST pod that I could make instructions for, but i want to improve it. Its easy to buikld tho.

Permalink
| June 4, 2011, 10:59 pm
Quoting Eric 'Hawk' Mickle
It's for Fire and Darkness, and ODST story I have been planning/writing for some time now.

It'll be tricky to build, based on what I've planned.

Oh thats awesome. If you want i have a simple but effective ODST pod design I could let you check out if your intreasted. But if you want you could bounce ideas off of me i know how things can be hard to build or get right. I know most of my mocs are pice of juncks but i have not uploaded any thing in months because i started my "Dark Ages" This year (my junior year of high school) because i got a job, and i had many many assigments and projects due for my high school and college classes. But i have actually improved my building alot.

Permalink
| June 4, 2011, 11:10 pm
I want to hear more!
Permalink
| June 10, 2011, 8:48 pm
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