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A Bible Joke!
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Adam told God he was lonely and he wanted someone to be around so God said he would make him a woman Adam: What's a woman? God: A person who would care for you, love you, and would listen to how your day went forever. Adam:How much does that cost? God: An arm and a leg. Adam: What can I get for a rib? I am sorry if I offende anyone because I think this is funny!
Permalink
| August 12, 2009, 10:28 pm
Quoting Squirelly .
Adam told God he was lonely and he wanted someone to be around so God said he would make him a woman Adam: What's a woman? God: A person who would care for you, love you, and would listen to how your day went forever. Adam:How much does that cost? God: An arm and a leg. Adam: What can I get for a rib? I am sorry if I offende anyone because I think this is funny!

LOL
Permalink
| August 12, 2009, 10:29 pm
Yes I thought it was too.
Permalink
| August 12, 2009, 10:30 pm
Quoting Squirelly .
Yes I thought it was too.

I got it
Permalink
| August 12, 2009, 10:32 pm
God told Noah he was going to destroy the world, but save him and his family so he needs to build an ark. A week later God finds Noah sitting down with no ark in sight. He asks,"Where is the ark? Why have you not built it yet?"

Noah complaines,"Well, first I need this permit, you see, then there are these city restrictions, and the lumber prices are climbing from inflation and..."

God,"OK, OK, STOP! I get it! no more ark."

Noah,"but what about the flood? you aren't going to destroy the world?"

God," It looks like someone beat me too it!
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 2:08 am
Life is fragile, handle with prayer.
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| August 13, 2009, 2:08 am
A boy and his mother are at church one Sunday when they all move to get in line for Communion. The mother tells her son to cross his arms for a blessing. He asks why he can't eat the bread. She replies that he needs first Eucharist before you can.

Next week, the mother gives her son a dollar to put in the collection basket. When the time comes to give the dollar, he takes it and holds on to it saying,"If I can't eat, I'm not paying!"
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 2:11 am
@Gus Indo: LOL! I found that joke on an app for my Ipod Touch! :P
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 8:52 am
 Group moderator 
ok i got one

a guy is drowning in a bay when a boat passes. the captain asks if he wants some help...but the man replies
"no god will save me"
three more hours another boat comes and the captain asks the same question as the first, but the man gave the same reply...another three hours, another boat another captain and the same reply

the man drowns...in heaven he asks god
"why didnt u help me?" and god replied "i sent THREE boats!"
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 2:07 pm
Ha! I got it immediately!
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| August 13, 2009, 2:17 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Squirelly .
Ha! I got it immediately!

what about mine?
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 2:21 pm
I copy pasted to my chat room and everyone laughed!
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| August 13, 2009, 2:23 pm
Funny jokes here. Check this one out (it is actually a brasilian joke translated, and it isn't mine, so I am not responsible):

Once upon a time, there was an atheist walking along the forest and admiring all the wonders of this "accidental creation": the creek, the trees, the animals... until, he heard a noise, and a bear jumped out from behind the bushes, and started chasing him, many times the man looked back during the chase, only to find the bear closer, closer and closer. He trips. He tries to get back up, but the bear is already on top of him. He cries "Oh my Lord". Suddenly, everything freazes. A light appears on the sky and a voice is heard: do you expect me to help you? After all these years, denying my existance, teaching others to be atheists and reducing all this just into a cosmical coincidence?
The man replies: I wouldn't want to be a Christian, but can you make this bear a Christian himself?
God says: have it your way.
Everything starts moving again, and the bear kneels in front of the man, puts his paws together and says: "Oh my Lord, I am thankfull for this meal that I am about to have, amen."
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 3:05 pm
Quoting James Theodore
Funny jokes here. Check this one out (it is actually a brasilian joke translated, and it isn't mine, so I am not responsible):

Once upon a time, there was an atheist walking along the forest and admiring all the wonders of this "accidental creation": the creek, the trees, the animals... until, he heard a noise, and a bear jumped out from behind the bushes, and started chasing him, many times the man looked back during the chase, only to find the bear closer, closer and closer. He trips. He tries to get back up, but the bear is already on top of him. He cries "Oh my Lord". Suddenly, everything freazes. A light appears on the sky and a voice is heard: do you expect me to help you? After all these years, denying my existance, teaching others to be atheists and reducing all this just into a cosmical coincidence?
The man replies: I wouldn't want to be a Christian, but can you make this bear a Christian himself?
God says: have it your way.
Everything starts moving again, and the bear kneels in front of the man, puts his paws together and says: "Oh my Lord, I am thankfull for this meal that I am about to have, amen."

HAHAHAHA, Lol
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 3:09 pm
Okay, here is another one:

Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when Moses says, "You know what? I'm going to try and part the ocean again." He throws his hands in the air and, magically, the ocean parts.

Jesus sees this and says, "I'm going to try to walk on water again." He walks up to the water, takes a step on top and sinks.

Moses says, "Try it again, Jesus. It's been a while." Jesus tries again, and once more, he sinks.

Jesus comes out of the water and says, "I know what the problem is. When I walked on water before, I didn't have holes in my feet."
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 3:18 pm
Quoting James Theodore
Okay, here is another one:

Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when Moses says, "You know what? I'm going to try and part the ocean again." He throws his hands in the air and, magically, the ocean parts.

Jesus sees this and says, "I'm going to try to walk on water again." He walks up to the water, takes a step on top and sinks.

Moses says, "Try it again, Jesus. It's been a while." Jesus tries again, and once more, he sinks.

Jesus comes out of the water and says, "I know what the problem is. When I walked on water before, I didn't have holes in my feet."

Lol, I get it , because the Romans nailed Jesus's feet and hands 2 a cross
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 3:20 pm
Quoting Spartan Crusader Matt Shack
Lol, I get it , because the Romans nailed Jesus's feet and hands 2 a cross


Dude, you are literally refreshing this page often for jokes.

Here goes another one:
A preacher concludes his service by saying, "Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the 17th chapter of Mark."

The following Sunday, the preacher says, "Now, all of you who have done as I requested and read the 17th chapter of Mark, please raise your hands."

Nearly every hand in the congregation goes up.

The preacher continues, "You are the people I want to talk to. There is no 17th chapter of Mark."
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 3:22 pm
LOL! I think it is funny when people lie in church.
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 3:36 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Spartan Crusader Matt Shack
Lol, I get it , because the Romans nailed Jesus's feet and hands 2 a cross

u know jesus' feet werent nailed to the cross/tree shaped in a cross(yes historians do think that)
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:16 pm
I think they were duck taped! :P
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| August 13, 2009, 5:17 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Father Khal
u know jesus' feet werent nailed to the cross/tree shaped in a cross(yes historians do think that)
the bible says so

Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:26 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Lt. John Harland
Quoting Father Khal
u know jesus' feet werent nailed to the cross/tree shaped in a cross(yes historians do think that)
the bible says so

bible says he was nailed doesnt say where and science has proven this as his limbs wouldnt take the pressure and would seperate from his body
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:28 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Father Khal
bible says he was nailed doesnt say where and science has proven this as his limbs wouldnt take the pressure and would seperate from his body

luke 24:37-41 Jesus shows the desciples his hands and FEET why would he do that unless there were holes
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:38 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Lt. John Harland
luke 24:37-41 Jesus shows the desciples his hands and FEET why would he do that unless there were holes

chaffing from the ropes
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:39 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Father Khal
chaffing from the ropes

that would be on his ankles not feet and wouldnt people slide off they used rope
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:41 pm
Still if God said it happened it happened.
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| August 13, 2009, 5:43 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Lt. John Harland
that would be on his ankles not feet and wouldnt people slide off they used rope

that comes to the tree part...it was on a video we saw in religious education

a tree not a cross. jesus wouldve been placed on this tree and his feet would be nailed or tied downwards while his arms nailed or tied to the branches.

u know john was killed with rope? executed by being TIED to a cross upside down until haemorhaging for three days
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:44 pm
What about the force put on the feet?
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:46 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Father Khal
that comes to the tree part...it was on a video we saw in religious education

a tree not a cross. jesus wouldve been placed on this tree and his feet would be nailed or tied downwards while his arms nailed or tied to the branches.

u know john was killed with rope? executed by being TIED to a cross upside down until haemorhaging for three days
that was peter on a cross NOT a tree

Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:49 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Squirelly .
What about the force put on the feet?

nailed or tied resting on a stump to support the weight
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:50 pm
These are jokes not stats go make another topic.
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:50 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Lt. John Harland
Quoting Father Khal
that comes to the tree part...it was on a video we saw in religious education

a tree not a cross. jesus wouldve been placed on this tree and his feet would be nailed or tied downwards while his arms nailed or tied to the branches.

u know john was killed with rope? executed by being TIED to a cross upside down until haemorhaging for three days
that was peter on a cross NOT a tree

tree was jesus, mixed up john and peter
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:50 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Squirelly .
These are jokes not stats go make another topic.

fine
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:51 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Father Khal
tree was jesus, mixed up john and peter

the cross was jesus
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:53 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Lt. John Harland
the cross was jesus

for the point it was never proven thats what religious scientists are trying to prove ok,

now lets divert to the other topic
to the arguemobile!
Permalink
| August 13, 2009, 5:55 pm
XD! That is really funny!
Permalink
| August 14, 2009, 5:01 pm
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