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The topic for jokes.
 Group admin 
This topic is where you can tell funny jokes.
Permalink
| September 17, 2013, 4:15 pm
I am not a pumpkin.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 9:45 am
 Group admin 
I am going to start a funny story and we all take a turn saying something. If there is only two of us active then we can take turns with each other. Okay .....There was a cat named Jim and he was chasing a mouse by a cliff.....
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 1:21 pm
I guy walks into a bar...he says "Ow!"
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 1:23 pm
 Group admin 
....Because the cat fell off the cliff and went thru the roof and hit the guy...
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 1:26 pm
 Group admin 
...Who slipped on a banana peel and careened into a barrel of toxic waste which...
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 1:51 pm
 Group admin 
...Got all over his legs and then....
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 1:57 pm
 Group admin 
He turned into the Hulk!

And when the cat came to his senses, it was all HULK SMASH!
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 2:03 pm
 Group admin 
....And the bartender screamed like a girl and ran out of the building....
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 2:05 pm
 Group admin 
And ran into the wall of his bar. "Ow!"

Meanwhile, a giant bunny came out of nowhere and...
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 2:07 pm
 Group admin 
...And picked the bartender up like a giant carrot and the bunny opened his mouth....
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 2:09 pm
 Group admin 
...and someone's windows busted and music filled the air.
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 2:12 pm
 Group admin 
...And the giant bunny looked over and saw a basket of vegetables and saw some carrots in the basket....
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 2:15 pm
..He dropped the bartender and ran over too it...
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 5:49 pm
 Group admin 
...And picked out a carrot from the basket and bit it but it was plastic....
Permalink
| October 18, 2013, 6:50 pm
Quoting Bill Daniels.
...And picked out a carrot from the basket and bit it but it was plastic....

...so in anger, he spontaneously combusted, triggering a chain reaction of lime scented explosions and purple fire, until it finally reached...
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 2:48 am
 Group admin 
...Egypt. And the bartender flew all the way too the moon....
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 4:32 pm
...saying "hey, I can see my house from here!" and then he...
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 4:39 pm
 Group admin 
...Realized he had no way to get back home....
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 4:41 pm
Quoting Bill Daniels.
...Realized he had no way to get back home....

...So he freaked out and flew off the moon...
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 4:43 pm
And further into space he drifted until...
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 4:50 pm
 Group admin 
Galactus ate him.

Except his glasses fell off in outer space, and drifted for years until they reached a planet inhabited by...
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 4:58 pm
...Giant worms called graboids...
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:03 pm
 Group admin 
That grabbed his glasses and lived happily ever after.

The end.

Maybe.
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:04 pm
 Group admin 
Hmmm I don't know what to do now.
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:05 pm
Quoting Bill Daniels.
Hmmm I don't know what to do now.
Tell jokes?
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:15 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting The Object of Legend
Quoting Bill Daniels.
Hmmm I don't know what to do now.
Tell jokes?

That or we could start a new story. What do you want to do?
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:17 pm
Knock knock

Who's there?

Nobody

Nobody who?

...
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:19 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting toa taile
Knock knock

Who's there?

Nobody

Nobody who?

...

Knock knock

Who's there?

Doctor
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:20 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
Knock knock

Who's there?

Doctor

WHO!!!! Everybody knows thatXD
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:21 pm
 Group admin 
....Once upon a time there was a mail man who delivered mail.....
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:25 pm
Quoting Bill Daniels.

Thank you for the promotion!
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:30 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting ~ Brick
Thank you for the promotion!

No problem!
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:31 pm
...While driving a '72 El Camino. One day, while driving back to the post office...
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:33 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Scott Bertaut
...While driving a '72 El Camino. One day, while driving back to the post office...

...And he went too fast around a curve and....
Permalink
| October 19, 2013, 5:40 pm
...absolutely nothing happened, as he was a man of skill and drove through the curve with no difficulties. But as he exited the bend, he crashed into a purple space llama, which...
Permalink
| October 20, 2013, 2:52 am
Quoting Alex Sonny
...absolutely nothing happened, as he was a man of skill and drove through the curve with no difficulties. But as he exited the bend, he crashed into a purple space llama, which...
...exploded like fireworks. The colors and noises hypnotized the mailman, and he...
Permalink
| October 20, 2013, 6:18 am
...thought that he was Superman. He then...
Permalink
| October 21, 2013, 1:24 am
 Group admin 
Quoting Flamelord Kai
...thought that he was Superman. He then...

Tried to fly, and fell flat on is face.

Into a container of molten...
Permalink
| October 21, 2013, 1:07 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
Tried to fly, and fell flat on is face.

Into a container of molten...

...bacon...
Permalink
| October 21, 2013, 1:19 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting sam the first
...bacon...

...that exploded, and he flew into the sky with bacon in his mouth.
Permalink
| October 21, 2013, 1:20 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
...that exploded, and he flew into the sky with bacon in his mouth.
A giant bird smelled the bacon and picked him out of the air and took him to...

Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 12:40 pm
Quoting The Object of Legend
Quoting Stormjay Rider
...that exploded, and he flew into the sky with bacon in his mouth.
A giant bird smelled the bacon and picked him out of the air and took him to...

. . . Slovakia for a week . . .
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 12:49 pm
Quoting Alex Rode
. . . Slovakia for a week . . .

...where he learned to be a lumberjack that...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 1:03 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Jacob Pennington
...where he learned to be a lumberjack that...

HAD AN EPIC CHAINSAW!
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 1:09 pm
...And lifted 1,000lbs logs and met alot of woman...Plus owned a Stoeger Coach gun...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 1:13 pm
...But then one day their was a Chainsaw accident and...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 2:18 pm
Quoting Gabe French
...But then one day their was a Chainsaw accident and...

....Saw's went flying and hit spongebob....
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 2:24 pm
...And he accidentally cut spongebob's hand clean off...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 2:26 pm
 Group admin 
...And then Patric came over and was shocked....
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 6:56 pm
Quoting Bill Daniels.
...And then Patric came over and was shocked....

...because Santa Clause gave him coal for Christmas...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 6:59 pm
Quoting Zach Lucia
...because Santa Clause gave him coal for Christmas...

...So he cried and cried...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 7:00 pm
 Group admin 
....So Patric swam up and up until...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 7:04 pm
Quoting Bill Daniels.
....So Patric swam up and up until...


...He dried and eventually died...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 7:05 pm
Quoting Bill Daniels.
....So Patric swam up and up until...

...He ran into ice and freaked out...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 7:06 pm
Quoting Bill Daniels.
....So Patric swam up and up until...

...he got on the U.S. navy's radar in a bad way...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 7:06 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Zach Lucia
...he got on the U.S. navy's radar in a bad way...

And they sent a trained dolphin with a torpedo system into the water, and he...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 9:05 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
And they sent a trained dolphin with a torpedo system into the water, and he...

pretend to be a fake starfish like the one you see on the show and...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 9:45 pm
...They still found him even with his disguise and he was captured...
Permalink
| October 22, 2013, 10:27 pm
Quoting Eve Daniels
...They still found him even with his disguise and he was captured...
and throw in prison. There he planned his escape which was to...
Permalink
| October 23, 2013, 11:16 am
 Group admin 
Quoting The Object of Legend
Quoting Eve Daniels
...They still found him even with his disguise and he was captured...
and throw in prison. There he planned his escape which was to...

...stuff banana peels into the bricks, and then the banana peels would get melted by salsa, causing the entire prison to...
Permalink
| October 23, 2013, 12:03 pm
 Group admin 
...Fall over. then he could run as fast as he can and....
Permalink
| October 23, 2013, 12:05 pm
 Group admin 
This morning I was eating breakfast and my food tried to eat me!!! Hehe
Permalink
| October 28, 2013, 2:17 pm
can we start making silly similes? funny ones.
e.g.

as useless as water-proof teabags.

;D my mate made that one up.
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 6:33 am
Quoting Garrett A.
I am not a pumpkin.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

no, but you are a gherkin.
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 6:34 am
 Group admin 
Quoting sam the first
can we start making silly similes? funny ones.
e.g.

as useless as water-proof teabags.

;D my mate made that one up.

Define "mate".
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 12:51 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
Define "mate".

friend from primary school.
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 12:54 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting sam the first
friend from primary school.

Unless you're Australian, "Mate" usually refers to a spouse.
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 12:56 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
Unless you're Australian, "Mate" usually refers to a spouse.

i'm english.
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 12:57 pm
 Group admin 
Hi guys!!! :)))))
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 12:59 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting sam the first
i'm english.

As in British?

Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 12:59 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
As in British?

no, as in hungarian. B| i only know of one england.
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 1:02 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
As in British?

From what I was aware, "mate" nowadays is used generally for referring to a friend just about anywhere you go and speak English. :P
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 1:03 pm
Quoting The evil Jack-o-lantern
Hi guys!!! :)))))

hullo!
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 1:04 pm
Quoting Jak TheMad
From what I was aware, "mate" nowadays is used generally for referring to a friend just about anywhere you go and speak English. :P

yup.
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 1:04 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting sam the first
no, as in hungarian. B| i only know of one england.

"English" = Speakers of the English language, or people primarily descended from an Anglo-Saxon/Norman/Viking ethnic group, spread across various continents and countries.

"English" inhabited countries/states/however the British Commonwealth is organized = British, Australians, New Zealanders, Canadians, "Americans" (United States inhabitants, because no one had the bright idea to make a unique term for us.)
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 1:07 pm
 Group admin 
Could you guys check this out please? http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/371367

Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 1:11 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
"English" = Speakers of the English language, or people primarily descended from an Anglo-Saxon/Norman/Viking ethnic group, spread across various continents and countries.

"English" inhabited countries/states/however the British Commonwealth is organized = British, Australians, New Zealanders, Canadians, "Americans" (United States inhabitants, because no one had the bright idea to make a unique term for us.)

stormjay, your new name is 'human dictionary'. sorry if the last comment was offensive, ; )
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 1:12 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting sam the first
stormjay, your new name is 'human dictionary'. sorry if the last comment was offensive, ; )

I feel like I've been given that name before. :P
Permalink
| October 29, 2013, 1:19 pm
What did the fire-man say when the church caught fire?

Holy Smokes!
*Badum-Tsshh!*


Why was the Lady fired from the M&Ms factory?

She threw away all the 'W's!!
*Badum-Tsshh!*

The were two m@r@ns standing on a cliff. The big m@r@n fell off. Why didn't the little m@r@n fall off?

Because he was a little more-on!
*Badum-Tsshh!*

Why did the doctor tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
*Badum-Tsshh!*

Enough corny jokes for now, it's making my voice 'husk'y, and making your 'ears' sore. :P
Permalink
| October 30, 2013, 12:49 am
Quoting David .
Nice ones!

Permalink
| November 3, 2013, 7:56 pm
what has 2 necks, 6 limbs, no head, and runs in circles?





a steam engine.
Permalink
| November 11, 2013, 9:36 pm
 Group admin 
Here is a funny video from flushed away.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pC-D9PG7Z3I
Permalink
| November 14, 2013, 11:47 am
is it just me, or are people over-using the word g@y? it's really getting on my nerves, and this is a great way to go against it-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXBm2hRc-mA
Permalink
| November 14, 2013, 2:03 pm
So how is the never ending story a joke?
Permalink
| November 14, 2013, 2:45 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Stephen Boe
So how is the never ending story a joke?

Technically, it isn't but it's humorous.
Permalink
| November 14, 2013, 2:48 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
Technically, it isn't but it's humorous.

yup.

did i tell you the joke about the impossibly high wall?

*no*

hmmm... better not, you'll never get over it.
Permalink
| November 14, 2013, 2:52 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting sam the first
yup.

did i tell you the joke about the impossibly high wall?

*no*

hmmm... better not, you'll never get over it.

WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY

If you watched Dora the Explorer, you would know he goes "Aw man!"
Permalink
| November 14, 2013, 2:54 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Stormjay Rider
WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY

If you watched Dora the Explorer, you would know he goes "Aw man!"


This kid at the airsoft war I went to on Saturday kept saying that! :)
Permalink
| November 14, 2013, 2:56 pm
Quoting Stormjay Rider
WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY

If you watched Dora the Explorer, you would know he goes "Aw man!"

i've never seen that video, but it seems pretty popular.

in our (stoopid, full of 'hard-nuts) class, we had a supply teacher in french. a boy put his hand up. it went like this

*hand goes up*
teacher:"yes?"
student:"what did the fox say?"
most of the class:"kneee neen enenenneene"!!!!

i think my class has some serious issues, and ought to see a doctor.
Permalink
| November 14, 2013, 2:59 pm
Quoting sam the first
is it just me, or are people over-using the word g@y? it's really getting on my nerves, and this is a great way to go against it-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXBm2hRc-mA

i apologize for this - ' c@t s@t on d@ m@t' language, but i thought it was better than saying the real word - anyone else have this issue?
Permalink
| November 14, 2013, 3:08 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Stormjay Rider
WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY

If you watched Dora the Explorer, you would know he goes "Aw man!"

Good one.
Permalink
| November 14, 2013, 5:38 pm
Quoting ~ Brick
I guy walks into a bar...he says "Ow!"

GOD DANG IT! I was gonna use that one!
Permalink
| November 20, 2013, 4:51 pm
 Group admin 
We're having Wookiee steak tonight. It's a little Chewie.
Permalink
| November 22, 2013, 12:32 pm
 Group admin 
A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway.

He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.

The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.
Permalink
| December 4, 2013, 2:19 pm
Group moderators have locked this conversation.
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