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How to Appease the Gods: A Hands on Guide ot Blood Sacrifice
Hey folks, do you have a dark cult? A secret following perhaps? Are you a practitioner of the dark arts? If so, this MOC could be of use to you!
About this creation
Introduction
Greetings fellow cultists, with the Dark Holidays (Most notably Monday) right around the corner, it's absolutely essential to honor the Dark Gods on their unholy days. I mean, imagine if a good friend forgot your birthday. Now imagine you've gone mad with the unlimited power at your disposal. I trust the mental images in your little brain are enough to make you see my reasoning. Let's begin, shall we?


Step 1: Preparing the Altar

Remember kids, candles and an ominous symbol of some form are a must. Also, be sure to have a fresh body on the altar at all times. It helps to keep it nice and blood soaked to add to the whole atmosphere of evil.


Make sure there are plenty of skeletons, bones, skulls, and whatever else scattered about. Can't give people a sense of foreboding doom without dead things now can we? Well, I suppose you could with something like Miley Cyrus., but we don't want to be THAT cruel. I mean, that hurts everyone in the vicinity.


Author's Note: Mess with the Victims

There's nothing quite like re-enacting plays or movie scenes with the bodies of the former sacrifice to scare the living daylights out of most future victims. I also find singing happy tunes while going about your butchering tends to add the the 'He's Freaking Insane' feel and scare them even more. I recommend The Beatles, but be sure to make it your own. The musical choice is up to you!


Step 2: Preparing the Sacrifice

Hang the victim up by any part of their anatomy you wish, and begin chopping. Be sure to gather as much of the blood and guts as possible. It'll be needed in Step 4.


Use a common basin or bowl of some form to catch the blood. The organs are alot easier to gather up though, so you don't need to worry too much about them.


Step 3: Lay out the Offering

You can do something better than the box pictured if you want. Just be sure you have all the victim's contents neatly boxed up.


Step 4: Burn it All

This is a burnt offering, right? So burn the thing! Spare no expense and remove all limitations placed on you by The Man! The smell of burning flesh appeases the dark gods. It's also a pretty handy way to dispose of evidence.


Make sure the mood is set. Don't just have the body of the victim on the altar, have the blood you collected at the ready to annoint the altar when you're done. Especially important if you still have another sacrifice to perform that day. Take care that the future victim sees the ceremonies. Terrified souls are favored over the souls of those who resist.


Authors Note: Beware of Shuffle

Be sure you know what'll be coming up next. NEVER leave your iPod on shuffle unless you are absolutely certain you have nothing that can kill the mood. Trust me, nothing ruins a sacrifice quite like the Jonas Brothers. That's also why Radio isn't suggested either. You have to get your own Choir of the Damned, or loop some faux latin chanting from the internet. Another option would be techno-esque rave music. That is some messed up stuff, man.


Closing Statements
Well friends, you should now be equipped to appease whatever dark diety you please, or just begin your own reign of terror against your coworkers or fellow apartment dwellers. However, it is at this time y Legal team requires me to remind you that you can't sue me if something involving this guide happens to you. Just because I equip the psychos doesn't mean I force them to do it. Also, I'd like to remind you that this kind of thing is usually frowned upon by the law. And most organized religions. Heck, pretty much everyone who ISN'T a sociopath shys away from this thing. So, if at all possible, I recommend you use something OTHER than a fellow human for your dark rituals. Like a clown.



Comments

 I like it 
  November 21, 2010
I find that the "Nom Nom Nom" track from TF2 does well. Lord of the Rings-Symphony: The Black riders or Lord of the Rings-Symphony-March of the Ents also fit the mood.~MM
 I like it 
  September 23, 2010
Could you sacrifice Justin Beiber and or Obama please?I think it would go very well...
 I like it 
  September 23, 2010
Hmmm...Did you say ANY part of there anatomy?*laughs evily*
Ribbits M
 I like it 
Falco .(CSM)
  August 30, 2010
i see santa wasnt lucky either XD
 I like it 
  January 11, 2010
I've found that, "Love me do" makes a perfect song to feed the insane feeling. I'm still trying to find a Demonic Latin choir though. Not many of them around anymore.
 I like it 
  January 7, 2010
well, you surely made a stand for dark cultist and evil gods all over MOCpages, its awesome to see that big armor thing packed with deadly stuff and then a frog, plotting and executing the whole thing, nice MOC dude
 I made it 
  January 6, 2010
Well, it appears my little guide is a hit! Now I just need to collect enough blood to sign a deal with a publishing company... @Ian: Not a bad idea! These are frogs though. Bloody creatures are far too clean to run a proper Evil Cult. If I can convince him, I'll revisit this idea with some better decor. @Yuri: I like the efficiency spin. It definately sounds better than lazy. @Legoz: It's not recommended. @Sammy: That's a little further into the realm of serial killer. Now blood stained vestments are a whole different story... @Hans: Well that just won't work. It's preferable if the sacrifice at least pretends to be pure. Which discounts most of hollywood... We are of course open to suggestions. @Bones: Well, he IS a frog. Bureaucracy is in their blood. And he uses it to get the blood of others. @Delta: It's not so much a crucifixion pole as a 'Flair' pole. It's also handy for storing future lunches.
 I like it 
  January 6, 2010
Grim Reaper: who took my hood? not my scythe, just my hood? Me: i think we need to give the reaper his hood back, sir. or should i store it away when he's here? nice work on using the exoskeleton, by the way. Very nice job, especially the blood collection. But i have a request for the frog sacrificier: try to, next time, pound a stake through his rectum until it hits him in the sternum. perfect crucifiction pole. GJ! (the dark gods are STILL laughing themselves even madder when they see my thoughts. and i AM certifiably insane.)
 I like it 
  January 6, 2010
...okay... that was some... uh... interesting information... maybe TMI, but you can never be too careful with the "gods" (This had me laughing my face off) 5/5
 I like it 
  January 6, 2010
That is one organized frog....excellent advice.
 I like it 
  January 6, 2010
No, no, not Miley!! Take Brittney instead!! Great MOC.~H
 I like it 
  January 5, 2010
I find wearing a bloody apron also freaks out the victims very well. Quite a humorous moc, very good work!
 I like it 
  January 5, 2010
Perfect, just perfect.
 I like it 
  January 5, 2010
Hm.... this could be useful..... Can you perform sacrifice with a demon? Such as..... a science teacher?
 I like it 
  January 5, 2010
@Ian: I partially agree, but I think the spotless machine adds to the "impeccable efficiency" vibe that this vig gives out.
 I like it 
  January 5, 2010
Often having omious tools of dismembermment in the background helps set victims heart a thumpin. Even if you never use them, you should splash some blood on em for effect. Cheers, Ian
 I made it 
  January 5, 2010
@Garth: That's a great inclusion. For the moment though, I'll be working off the assumption the future cultist/wanted criminal can't modify his surroundings to accomodate a nifty contraption like that. @John: Surely you're joking? Can any mortal get close enough to perform a sacrifice?
 I like it 
  January 5, 2010
Thanks for all the tips. You know what's missing? Floor drains. It's good to catch all the splashed fluids and drain them off to a lower level collection point. Make sure you put it somewhere where a potential victim could accidentally fall into it. Say under a trap door in the floor. Nice build. see ya. garth
 I like it 
  January 5, 2010
..... Or Miley Cyrus
 
By Ribbits M
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