The Phobot 9000 is your non-lethal and psychologically devasting alternative in crowd control.
About this creation
My entry for the Shannon Young's Mob Rules rules contest. We're in the second round, and our group's category is "Three things that should never go together." Can you guess what the three things are by the end?
Greetings, this is Dirk Jensen speaking, CEO and founder of Mark Industries, manufacturer of everything from infant formula to nuclear warheads. If you are joining this live webcast, you must be a CEO of one of the world’s 100 most influential corporations. Here’s a brief warning before you begin: You may need to change your Depends after you view today’s demonstration. Let’s begin.
You are currently viewing a live image from our secure Los Angeles warehouse. The fearsome product displayed is our latest crowd-control innovation. The Phobot 9000 combines psychological research with ballistics technology to produce the best possible security device known to man.
Ah, I see our technicians have activated the emoto-servos. Note the widening of the smile and the arching of the eyebrows. These signals have been shown to make mobs leery. Which is why, of course, we chose a giant clown’s head in the first place.
The fear of clowns called coulrophobia. The Greek root for this word means “one who walks on stilts,” which is appropriate for the Phobot 9000 as well. In research, it has been proven that 100% of people are afraid of clowns.
Uh-oh. Something made him angry. The Phobot 9000 has automated sensors that match its facial expression to the level of violence it is prepared to unleash.
Go ahead and turn him around, boys. Those articulated inverse-knee chicken-walking legs are a beauty, no?
Here is the hind-side. A radar unit is housed in the top of the dome. The lower protrusion is the exhaust port. Those small tanks hold laughing gas, which can be sprayed or shot in canisters from the mouth area. The clear box powers his laser, which will be demonstrated shortly.
Let’s meet our pilots.
Surprise! To reduce human risk, we have trained chimpanzees to pilot the Phobot 9000! They have performed amazingly well on our simulator, so we feel they are ready to protect your company’s interests.
And let’s face it, all major corporations need crowd control these days. I mean, can you imagine what Wall Street would have done without their security force two years ago? And do you really want to weather the recession with your guns-for-hire mall cops? Consider this: BP already has several hundred of these on back-order.
Time to reveal the weaponry this guy carries. Here you can view the oral cannon. It can fire either a spray of laughing gas for close-quarters, or it can launch canisters of the same. Now, direct your attention to the bowtie.
When things get a little hot, you can turn up the heat even more. The bowtie hides a non-lethal laser. Mainly, it gets in people’s eyes, and makes it really hard to stare at stuff. That can diffuse a crowd like nothing else. At least, it works in the simulations.
For our final demonstration…Oops! Here we go! It appears two of our monkey technicians have accidentally activated the “rubber bullet” program.
And down they go! A perfect example of this beast’s capabilities!
We use only the finest cloned chimpanzees!
There you have it, folks. The Phobot 9000 is just what your corporation needs to control pesky demonstrators, protestors, or disperse lines outside Apple stores. Get yours today!
1) Wow! What a challenging category. It took me around four days to just decide what to build. I resurrected this idea from the MocOlympics – it was my idea for the Mech category. It came to me while viewing Shawn Snyder’s Death Walker. Some of the inspiration came from other sources, such as Brian Kescenovitz’s and Mark Kelso’s work.
2) In case you didn’t guess it, the three things that should never go together were clowns, chicken walkers, and monkeys.
3) Oh, you want to hear about the stickers on the bowtie, eh? Anyone who’s examined my creations knows I use stickers, cut up usually. These are not from a Lego set, though. They’re actually from a Lego catalog. My creative wife used her sticker-maker to make them. Cool, huh?
4) As ever and always, support, encouragement, photographic excellence, and groans of disgust were provided by my loving wife. As supportive as she is of my hobby, she had a hard time with this one. “It’s so ugly.” “Eww, why does it need those teeth?” “Start packing your bags, buddy.” Common phrases heard in the Pitter household this week.
i thought this was creepy an awesome, then i saw the teeth... then i saw the monkeys at the controls. GREAT WORK!!! very nice building technics and one of the most entertaining creations i've ever seen.
I'm sorry, I didn't even see your comment asking me about this contest. Thanks for trying to get me in. I've just been doing a lot of school work recently so I haven't been on. It's summer break now and I'm ready to get back into LEGO!
I like it
June 10, 2010
On the other hand this has 3 things that should always be togather 1 The joker 2 Advanced war fair 3 lack of anything to stop him.
Quite possibly one of the coolest things ive ever seen built out of Legos. . . Normally i can find one place to make something better but here I cannot. Even your story with it is well written. Well done. We need more people like you in the crowd-rioting world of ours.
Again... I never really got the whole "clown phobia" thing. That aside, I think that this could possibly be the best mech I've ever seen! It'd be a close call between this one and Sterling's Mech he did for the Olympics. Great work Wes! And congrats on the Brothers Brick blog! ~ Chris. EDIT: Oh, and the three things that should never go together... when in your hands my friend YES THEY SHOULD!