Category 7: Darwin Awards.
A throwback to Kelso's contest from a few years ago.
Show someone unintentionally killing themselves in the most ironic way
possible. The more crazier the better but it must be "grounded" (get
it... that's a burial joke there...) in reality (to a point).
The night is dark. A black-clothed figure wades through a shallow river. His destination is a looming building. A warehouse for LEGOcorp.
Stealthily, he clambers onto the bank and rushes toward the tall fence. A powerful elcectric current rushes through it every 30 seconds. He places an object on the wire. After a few seconds, it sparks.
He clambers over the fence, throwing himself clear of the barbed wire and landing softly on the pavement. He's in.
Like an invisible wraithe, he streaks across the pavement toward the wall.
Using his well-developed parkour skills, he runs up the wall. At the top, he climbs onto a ledge and cuts a window open. In a few minutes, he emerges with several bins of LEGO bricks.
One by one, he takes the plastic containers across to the fence and throws them over. After the last one is on the other side, he tests the fence and climbs.
Suddenly, his pants catch on the barbed wire. He falls forward and is suspended by his ankles.
There is a loud crack and a brilliant burst of sparks. And so ended the life of one of the greatest criminal masterminds of our time.
The name of the individual in this story has been ommitted to protect the innocent. His friends and family described him as being a fan of LEGO. He was addicted to LEGO bricks and they became his downfall, leading to a life of crime to finance his habits, and eventually death.