I'm not gonna use this in the Black Fantasy contest because 1, it doesnt have the right back round, 2, the monster itself is terrible compared to others, and 3, I don't feel like it. so just enjoy the special effects.
About this creation
Space Police Chief: "Do you know who I am?"
Space Police Chief: "You do know why you are here, right? You remember that you tried to steal from the intergalactic bank to pay off a bounty on your head?"
Space Police Chief: "Then why did you go to Meta Serres once we started chasing you? There is no bank there. It's a small rural world."
Mercenary: "There lives there a-a hermit. There are rumors... r-rumors of a treasure."
"We decided to threaten him and take the treasure, s-so we hid and waited for him."
"He walked past us, w-walking along the road with his dog."
"Suddenly out of the n-night sky came this bat-like beast, soaring stealthily on leathery wings."
"It burnt the dog into a crisp before the dog gave away the beast's presence."
"Then it followed the h-hermit to the small cottage."
"The hermit q-quietly turned around and calmly asked the c-creature what it wanted."
"It rasped at the old man, 'I want the treasure.'"
"The hermit suddenly lifted his hand and out of his hand spat blue crackling fire."
"We were horrified! This h-harmless old man w-wielded power so great, he would surely kill us too."
"The beast's sizzling corpse smoked. We tried to q-quiet ourselves- if h-he even heard us..."
"Suddenly Kritch couldn't take it. H-he ran away screaming, dropping his gun."
"The old man stood for a moment, the turned 'round."
"'And what do you boys want?' He asked."
"W-we ran away, for none could watch t-that and stay sane for long."
Replies: Pff. Half of the point IS that the monster isn't the one who actually terrorizes everybody.
Its alright and to the guy below me whats wrong with making black fantasy even if the contest is over I know i am. I just think the beast should of killed everybody exept one solider and he escaped and told the story. Oh well its nice
It's not bad, but it's not great like you said. I enjoyed your story, but if you entered this in the black fantasy contest, you'd definitely have to make your story so that your 'thing' doesn't get killed by a black hermit with a white beard. Just a thought.