Just when you though the LIU couldn't sink any lower, we start selling cars...
About this creation
LIU Personal Hovercraft Dealership
The Ludgonian Industrial Union is proud to announce that we have started selling a line of Personal Hovercraft. Beat morning traffic, impress your friends, or pick up street walkers, buy one today!
"Hey there folks, I'm Jim Schmidt. Can I help you today? What's that, you're just looking? Well, too bad. I going to stand annoyingly close and give you all the info you don't want about our products. Come on, let's go."
"Well guys, here they are, the LIU's three new Personal Hovercraft. Can I write you down for all three? No? Ok, fine, I'll show them a little closer before you decide."
The LIU H1
"The H1, here, is the smallest and cheapest Personal Hovercraft we sell. But don't let that turn you off. Its small size is perfect for rush hour madness. Note the side view mirrors with enhanced vision that allow you to cut-off other drivers with hair pin accuracy."
"Brake lights are standard on all our hovercrafts."
"Its stylish, fuel efficient*, and quick. Are you sold yet?"
"The H2 is an enhanced version of the H1. Note the larger hover bumpers below the vehicle as well as the increased engine size. This baby is no joke. With hover heights and speeds double that of the H1, you'll blow right by the other drivers!"
"Note how the headlights are safely tucked away. You could go on an alcohol induced joy ride hitting every car and tree in your path...all without damaging your headlights. As you can probably see, the H2 is a favorite among alcoholics, college kids, and movie stars."
"Around back, you can see the increased thruster size. This feature is unique to the H2. Get one now, and I'll throw in a one month warranty on the right thruster. No takers? Alright, let's move on."
"All you guys with low self esteem are in luck! The LIU is now producing the ego enhancing OICU812. The OICU812 is the hovercraft version of the sports car."
"Check out the chrome exhaust! I mean, without rims how else can you get your bling on? My urban slang hasn't lost all ya'all has it? OK, good."
"The OICU812, and its soon to be released counterpart (the OICUP), come in all colors. If I was you, I'd buy one to match each one of your ties. Thats just me."
"Yeah, can you please go away?"
"I'll go away if you buy one."
"Now where were we. Oh yeah, look at the fancy brakelights. That get's them everytime."
"You know you said that aloud, don't you."
"Here's the fancy computer laden interior. Cup holders can be added for a nominal fee. Well, how many can I put you guys down for?"
"Hey! Wait! I didn't get a chance to tell you about our finance options! No payments for three days! I swear! Come back!!"
Note: The models shown above are the stock models. If you want seatbelts, radio/CD, or airbags, additional fees will apply. A down payment is required for all purchases. Teenage drivers and members of the mob should know that none of the models have back seats or trunks. Thank you.
Oh, I see you ate one too. How was it? a little spicy for my tastes but then again it is fiesta night! I was starting to have withdrawal symptoms from "lack of LIU"! I am a big fan of all your stuff but I just have one question... Is Jim related to Joe Fullerschmidt from the Amalgaverse? (see my page for explaination) If he is, that explains a lot. Can't wait for your next installment. Later ~ Chris.