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My MOCoff MOC...
My Contest entry...Hope yours can compete, JD.
About this creation
OK here is my competion entry: The Lost Men.

Day 1 and 2.I am going to fill this journal with what goes on from now on, I don’t know why I haven’t written in it before but now I am writing to keep my mind off the fears that haunt it. The other night my squad went out on a patrol, and me and another guy (Mike) got separated when the enemy put us under a suppressive fire. We hoped to get back to the squad, but it looks hopeless, we have no idea where they went or how to get back to them.

Day 3.We figured to stay put, best idea yet, so we are gonna dig a foxhole and stay in it, I hope we survive until help arrives.



Day 4.Today we dug the foxhole, Mike started and I finished, I think it will be pretty sturdy, it better be!

Day 5.Days like these make me forget my troubles, it was quite today, too quite. I thought about all the people I left behind when I joined the military, I kind of hope they miss me.



Day 6.Today a gorilla walked right next to the foxhole. Mike knifed him and I got all his gear, mike got his pistol though, maybe the gorillas don’t know that we are here.

Day 7.Another quite day, we think the gorillas are waiting to here from the scout they sent out, but Mike and I know they will never hear from him again.



Day 8.A sniper shot Mike in the arm. I saw where the muzzle flash came from and shot at him, but he got away, I think that they know where we are now. I wrapped up Mike’s arm but I’m no doctor, Heck I’m not even a medic.

Day 9.I called HQ today, I knew they wouldn’t answer because they can’t give away their position but I still wanted to try, now I know that the gorillas know were we are.



Day 10.Today we were attacked. The gorillas tried assaulting our “pit” but we beat them off, I know we will probably see them again, soon.

Day 11.We were attacked again today. One gorilla got real close but I pumped him full of lead, I sure hope we make it out of this place alive.

Day 12.The gorillas were quite today, they are either going to call in the big guns, or have a day to care for anyone we’ve shot. I had a chance to check the one of the bodies that fell close to our foxhole and I got his gun, I also set some booby traps around the foxhole, I hope they work.

Day 13.Some dip wad gorilla tried to sneak up on us in the night and sprung one of my traps. Mike shot him and we got his gun and supplies. Today it might be another long battle, I have a deep feeling that I will die soon, and I hope it goes away.

Day 14.We shot up a ton of gorillas today. One charged me while I was reloading, but he was killed by the other trap I set. The gorillas stopped shooting for a while, and after that we only heard a few shots. Maybe help cut them off and is coming our way.

Day 15.It was quite again today, surprise, I hope that our guys get to us soon. I collected most of the dead guy’s stuff and put it in our foxhole, I found a RPG and I bet it will help!



Day 16.Last night was the longest night ever! Fire came from everywhere and we didn’t have much chance to fire back. They shot at us all night but finally stopped in the morning. Mike and I figure it is time to get out of here and we are setting a trap with all the extra weapons and the RPG. Then we will leave. This might be my last chance to write, so I am doing so. I sure hope we make it. I will not write were we are headed because if this journal gets captured it would get into the hands of the gorilla’s.

So, at least I tried to compete against JD! JD, may the best MOCer win, and may the power of the Force be with you!
VOTING RULES FOR THIS GREAT MOC-OFF
You must be logged in for your vote to count
You must vote for both entries (JD Luse and Blade B)
You must leave a review. Smiley’s are nice as always but the scores are taken from the written review.
In your review (on both MOCs) give a score of 1 to 5 (5 being the best) for the quality of the build. Then give a score of 1 to 5 for the quality of the story that goes with the build.
Your scores will then be added up, tallied, (bribes will be handed out during this time) and totaled.
Voting will close on Saturday, July 18th at midnight (2400) USA Central standard time and the winner will be declared! The first runner up! The loser will then be forced to build a MOC stating the superiority of the winner! That MOC “should” be posted by the following weekend…HOPEFULLY!
Remember, YOU CONTROL THE ACTION! This contest is NOTHING without your votes! So Get VOTING!




Comments

  September 14, 2009
I like the flora. And I like Balto...(especially the music)
 I like it 
  July 17, 2008
5/5 for the build, 4/5 for the story. Very nice jungle, cool MOC !
 I like it 
  July 14, 2008
The build isn't all that tough, but it is good. The foxhole was a nice touch. I'll give the build a four and the story a five. Now let me see JD's.
 I like it 
  July 13, 2008
it's a very good story, but i have to go with Commander Blane on this one. NO hard feelings!
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
just another note, ;] i really like how the scene progressed from day to day. thats what really captured my attention.
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
5/5, great in general! =]
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
Nice landscape Blade,5/5 for the build and and 4/5 for the story.
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
Build: 4 the scenery is nice but a bit simple, story: 5 well done!
 I made it 
  July 12, 2008
OH JD! I want to tell you quickly, AND ALL YOU OTHER DUDES AND DUDESSES THAT I AM CHANGING THE END VOTING TO FRIDAY THE 18TH! GOT THAT? THAT IS ONE DAY EARLIER!
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
I liked the general concept and the fox hole digging scene. 4.5/5 for the build and 4.5/5 for the story. Very Close match-up. Nice work.
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
ok guys i'll make it fast: build:5/5 - story:5/5
 I made it 
  July 12, 2008
OK, so I just wanted to tell you this is NOT HALO this is NOT Vietnam this is NOT now and this is NOT really anything historical or allready created. So this is my own! So, yeah. I tried not to copy Ocean too much, but I wanted to do something military...HIS AIN'T MILITARY!
  July 12, 2008
Build: 3/5 *Not too many details besides the foxhole Story: 3/5 *Besides being repetitive, it's too much like Ocean's in the first MOCoff.
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
yeah i agree with chris this isn't your best build but i like the foxhole,one little nag is that this is in veitnam (i think) but you used halo guns for its not something that'll change your score i just wanted to remind you. i give you a 4/5 for the story and a 3/5 for the build.
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
Those rules sound eerily familar. Not quite "cut and paste" familiar but... anyway. Ahh yes, voting. The build isn't your best. Aside from the fox hole (which is what saved it) it's really just some bushes on a base. I'll go 3 for the build. Now your story, that's different. I like it. It started to get a little repetative towards the end (maybe shoulda made it only like, 7 days or so) but overall, nice work. So I'll give that a 5. Over all presentation was good. You did well with this. Now, let's see what your competition has to offer... ~ Chris.
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
Nice one, Blade! JD's gonna have to work for it! Let's go with a 4 on the MOC, and a 5 on the story. Well done, mate!
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
the story deserves 5 aswell as its intresting and new
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
it is a very good moc and jungle. i like the steady buildup of dead men. sorry to have been angry at you about my alien mocs. i hope you win
 I made it 
  July 12, 2008
I will be waiting for it mate!
 I like it 
  July 12, 2008
Cowabunga dude, this is going to be hard to beat! Mine is coming today, so be on the lookout.
 
By Caleb Cutlass-Crocodile Blanchet
Add to my favorite builders

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Added July 12, 2008
 


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