Joe: “Good evening everyone, I’m Joe Fullerschmidt. Our cameras have been invited in to the after party for the 2008 Mocie awards. All the stars are here and we’re hoping to get some reactions about the show.”
Joe: “And hanging out in the hottub, it’s Bryan Kescenovitz and… Hey, I thought I saw LegoLord here a few minutes ago.”
Brian: “Yeah, here he is. He’s trying to see how long he can hold his breath and I’m helping. He’s doing really well too. He finally got into his groove and stopped wasting all that energy kicking a few minutes ago. The kids pushing 7 minutes! I’m impressed.”
Joe: “We’ll just go see how Dr. Jones and the good Professor Eggplant are doing shall we?”
Joe: “Never mind.”
Joe: “Oh wow, everyone’s here tonight. It’s FFOL legend HeatherLEGOgirl. Heather, what brought you out tonight?”
Heather: “I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. I’m hoping I can meet Chris and get him to let me work the red carpet for him next time. But in the mean time, I’m just glad to be here representing my group.
Joe: “What group is that?”
Heather: “It’s the Chicks Lego International Team On Recognition In afol Society.”
Joe: “Wow, that’s a mouthful.
Heather: "It sure is."
Joe: "That must be hard to fit on a business card.”
Heather: “Oh, we use the abbreviation for that.”
Joe: “What is it?”
Heather: “If you men could figure that out, there’d be a lot less problems around here…”
Joe: “Mr. Kelso, congratulations on your wins tonight. A few words if you would please.”
Kelso:“Well mish Anishton, you look aweshum tonight. You know what a big *hic* shhhtar I am right. Hey hey, maybe we could be friends. Get it? Caush you were on that shhhhow…”
Joe: “Mark’s a little busy right now. I hope he doesn’t get lucky cause man, talk about splinters. Let’s go see who else we can find.”
Emperor: “Let me get this straight. You want me to pay for that? Do you have a written contract stating that I would be responsible monetarily for services rendered? No? I’m sorry the LIU doesn’t condone charity work.”
“The Professional”: “You were the charity work on that one cheapo.”
Joe: “Man, is NO ONE normal around here?”
Joe: “Mr. Ocean, great job tonight. I was just wonder…ing…
What are you doing to her sir.”
Ocean: “I’m just tryina help the sheela out a little mate. I’m sure she’s just doin this ta get through college but I like to do my part. Wish she’d get on with it though. I can’t wait to see if her carpet matches me drapes.”
Joe: “She’s not a stripper sir. She a very highly paid professional dancer hired as entertainment for this event.”
Ocean: “Well that explains why she kept slapping me every time I tried to put this in her g-string. Too bad too, I thought she liked it rough and I was just startin to enjoy it.”
Joe: “I just saw up and comer Dave Shaddix go out onto the back lawn. Let’s see if we can get his thoughts on the show.”
Joe: “Way to make a good first impression Dave…”
“To me, you listen. A b%h She is. Size matters not.”
"Ever think of going Brazilian, have you?"
“Hey, who’s that coming in the door?”
Security: “Excuse me sir, this is a private party. Are you on the guest list?”
Young: “I damn well should be! I’m Shannon Young.”
Security: “No sir, that’s Shannon Young.”
Young: “No, that’s the punk that knocked me out and stole my speech!”
Young: “Now where’s Phipson? I need to have a little chat with him about sigpersonators. An orange flat top? Please.”
Joe: You know, I haven't seen him for a while now..."
“Ummm… Guys? OK, the jokes over. It was really funny. You can let me out now. Guys… GUUUUYYYSSSSS?!?!?!?
Fourth Wall Commentary: Because the best trilogies always come in threes. Ummm. OK, that was kind of redundant. Anyway, I figured I needed to bring an end to all this madness with a great big punctuation mark! (like that) And what better way to do that than by showing what goes on when the cameras aren’t around. Little did they all know that Joe Fullerschmidt would be there to document every embarrassing second.
I just needed a good starting point for this and then it hit me. What better way to get it rolling than involuntary manslaughter? Perfect. Now just add some more drunken debauchery, what we thought was strippers, the unlawful "knowing" of foliage and a "small" Yoda joke for good measure and voila! I am so going to hell for this.
Hope you all enjoyed the show. Now then, moving on to my next project…
Keep it Blocky ~ Chris.
Addition: And of course AFTER I post this I realize I should have had little R2 Units skuttling around serving drinks... Oh well, maybe next time.
Hey, how come LL has short feet? What a scam! We're fifteen and I'm almost six feet! I want my money back! Alright. That was good. See ya at the end of the year when I'm sixteen...I'll be back to write another one of these.
Umm, I’m going to have to go ahead and claim self defense on moral grounds. You don’t even wanna know what LegoLord was trying to pull in that hot tub… (All in good fun, LL…;-) BTW Chris, I had the acronym figured out by the third letter, which is less a testament to my keen insight and more a confirmation of your subversive depravity. Keep up the good work…
Another CRAZY Moc ! A shame that I've missed this one... Can't wait for the next ;)
I like it
August 25, 2008
My God! You got a picture of me?!?! So embarrassing. I am just happy that was after I put all my clothes back on and took the tie off of my head. ...my memory is still a bit foggy, but I think Kelso owes me some money for losing that bet. I was able to get those pasties spinning in opposite directions. He didn't think I could do it. IN YOUR FACE KELSO!
Hey LL and JD. I know you guys are (for the most part) the same height as some of us but I needed a way to show that he was younger. With a distinct lack of LEGO acne and cracking voices on the market (kidding of course. Wait, why am I explaining that? You guys are cool enough to take a joke... anyway) the next best way to show age in lego form is short legs. Sorry I have to cut this one short (haha! Yep, I'm a little tired. I'm laughing at my own bad jokes now) but it's WAAYYY past my bed time. We old guys need our sleep ya know. ~ Chris.
Ha ha, I love how you gave LL short feet I bet he isn't that much shorter then you AFOLs. We're fourteen! =)
I like it
August 20, 2008
Another great daily dose of Phipson, Kelso, Ocean, etc. Nice work Chris. Looks like it was a wild party. Guess I'll need to get myself a SigFig and send it out on an adventure with you yahoos. I'm sure he'll come back all corrupted. Oh, and Stacy says hi. She's going to have to get her own page on here so she can start commenting on these!
I like it
Heather LEGO Girl
August 20, 2008
This is stinkin' hilarium! That's a new word that we of the C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S. are shopping around. And it's not that you aren't aware of our little organ-ization, it's that you can never find it. If only GPS navigation would get a little more specific with its directions. As for Shannon's comment - I wondered why my evening gown smelled of billabong water and kangaroos. And as for Alex's comment, well let's just say I'm not touching that one. But it made me laugh. Wait, you guys don't like to hear that. I should just go now before this gets awkward.
I like it
Heather LEGO Girl
August 20, 2008
Typical of you to want to call it a "BIG" warning. We FFOL's know what that means... it really just needs a small warning, right?
I like it
August 20, 2008
Amazingly funny , Your best moc yet! Could you plese enter me in next years mocies Pleaseeee! By the way , come and visit my page Chris?
Oh man that was funny...clever acronyms, Kelso in the bushes, water torture fun, legitimite dancers, what more could an AFOL want?! I did think though when Youngy showed up he was gonna go postal, enraged with so many MOCtags over the 4 line rule. Phew. Great work mate. Mmmm...billabong water...
Wow... I liked Brian there. Eliminating the competition. Watch out, Kelso, Brian will want to see how long YOU can hold your breath. Oh, and thanks to Chris for stopping that line of thought. Thanks for posting this Chris, even though it is a wasted 10 minutes I will never get back, and was not worth giving... Great job.
I nominate this for the newest category in the 2009 mocies, Most Inuendos, or possibly the Best Acronym Award. Maybe both. Now if you'll excuse me, that "professional" is looking for me. I have to run.
I wrote my first comment BEFORE I read the comments below...my God...my aching eyes! I've come up with some awful puns before, but these...I've got an unpleasant taste in my mouth now! (that might have been a pun as well now that I think about it...)
Wow Phipshon *hic* thatsh shome party yous got der*hic*. Ms. Anishton! Yous loks green tonight. I need too get meshelf one of dem danshers tooooo...Why washant I invi*hic*ted? I only had one bottle of vodka...C ya~ElNickre
Oh, my achin' head...ow...Okay...for starters, could you please comment more quietly for God's sake...and stop blinking so loud. Quite frankly, after last night I don't think I'm in any condition to parlee inuendos with anyone. What in holy Hades happened anyway? I remember talking to Jennifer Aniston, and the next thing I know I wake up in a bush with the usual morning wood...only in the form of splinters!!! I don't know what's going on, but...oh, no...wait...Joe was there, wasn't he? Oh, God did they bring the cameras?
Ohhhh Heather... There's a whole can of worms you're about to open up with that one. Do I wanna go the self deprocating route of "That's why we play with 2 inch plastic men." Or how 'bout the manly course with something like "That's a "1 to 25 scale" microphone Joe has..." I think I'm gonna bow out honorably and let Kelso take that one when he logs on. All your's Mark, cause I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole (yes, that one was intentional too).
It sure was nice of SigOcean Figgy to let Heather borrow his burgundy evening dress. And phew!... Glad I finally made it! I'd have gotten there sooner, but a high-class event like this is one of the few things I'll actually take the time to be clean-shaven for. Especially since I hear Jennifer Aniston is there... Hey, what happened to Mr. Orange Flattop, anyway? I hope those stormtroopers took him outside and shot him!
Man Alex, you're one sad dude. That's three comments in a row! You should be excited heading off to college and all (mmmm... coeds). Don't worry about your upcoming dark age, we'll be here when you get back. Good luck!