About this creation
Man: Thank you sir. Fax: No problem have a good day. Man: Okay, but, I heard some people saw a sith apprentice running around. Man leaves.
Shran is now aged from when he was a young knight- Shran Maanan: A sith apprentice? Hmmm, I must take care of this, watch out for driods. Commander Fox, Fax, Hops, and Ben: NO SIR! Wait for us!
Shran: Sorry, I gotta get moving.
Shran leaves.
Fox: Ok boys, we gotta go help Shran, he's too old for this, suit up! Hops, Fax and Ben: Yes Sir!
Hops: This one's mine! Ben: Like Commander Cody says " A big gun doesn't make a big man" Hops: Whatever. Mystery Voice: Help, HELP!
The troops run out and see T Fett being attacked by a sith apprentice. Fox: T FETT!! MEN OPEN FIRE!!!
All troops unleash full fire.
Fox: Go go go! Secure the area! Apprentice flees. Fox: T Fett, are you okay? T Fett: Yeah, just some broken bones, bruises, and internal bleeding, nothing serious. Ben: Oh okay good, I thought you might be hurt.
ELSEWHERE
Shran: I sense something.
Sith apprentice: Ha I was begining to wonder if I had to shock you with lightning to tell you I was here! Battle Begins.
Shran pushes the sith to the edge of the platform. Shran: Give up! I won't hurt you if you surrender! Sith: NEVER! Sith cuts bars on supporting edge.
Shran: Okay, I better leave! Sith: NOOOOOOOOO! The apprentice plummets to his death.
BACK AT THE OUPOST... Hops: Sir , we can't hold em' off! Fox: Fall back! T Fett, go sound the alarm. Ben: Sir! Fax's hit! Fox: Oh man, wheres Shran?!
Shran: Did somebody call me? Shran finishes off the driods.
Shran: Sorry I was late. The sith was just a diversion. Fox: Well it looks like you were outfoxed!
The scene.
The custom Coruscant Guards. Old Shran, and the apprentice, please rate and comment. THIS IS MY FIRST COMIC, just to tell you.
Judging- Elite Commander T Fett 89/100
Elite Commander CC-7576 89/100
Elite Commander Fed -/100
Comments
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Elite Commander CC-7576 December 22, 2008 |
I´m giving you a 17 of 20 for size (to little, but it has some details, 18 of 20 for story (interesting, but I think you can do that better, still ok), 26 of 30 for Lightsaber Battle (Thats ok), 18 of 20 for Clones V.S. Droids (average work, but not for your title), 10 of 10 for guest (T Fett is a nice guest, but one advice: try to use the next time a phase 1 Clone). Final points: 89 of 100. |
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I like it |
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December 14, 2008 |
I posted my round 2 entry.take a look at it if u want. |
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I like it |
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December 11, 2008 |
Check out my comic its a little messed up because the pic were a little mixed but its still cool. |
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I like it |
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December 11, 2008 |
18/20 for the size,
18/20 for Story (creative).
25/30 for a Lightsaber duel
18/20 for Clone Vs Driods
10/10 guest Star. (Thanks for adding me in there!)
89/100 total.
~ECTF |
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I like it |
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December 11, 2008 |
its really cool and a fun story line bravo great job |
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I like it |
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December 11, 2008 |
OO hey sorry i forgot to delete you from the bounty hunter link your really an Elite Crime lord the highest rank and that indicates your a leader |
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I like it |
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December 11, 2008 |
Great job im kinda nervous mine is really good but its not quite done im gunna finish the dialogue today and then post it by sunday. and T fett agreed to being a leader |
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I like it |
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December 11, 2008 |
That's the great thing about being made out of plastic. You can survive some pretty long falls. Good work Admiral. Oh, and by the way, the "Hammerhead Class" carrier should be posted this week along with my tank if I can find my camera's charger cord. |
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I like it |
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December 11, 2008 |
broken bones, bruises, internal bleeding not serious? |
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I like it |
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December 10, 2008 |
Glad you liked my vid. Theres a couple others that are funny but i wont put them on till i add more mocs. |
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I like it |
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December 10, 2008 |
Great comic!! nice pics to. |
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