Take Off, Hoser! . Sig Hansi here with a little farewell MOC for a friend and valued employee. For some strange reason he has decided to head 'nort' and spread his culinary wings in Canadia. I guess the call of flannel, hockey and socialized health care was finally too much for his fragile little mind to handle. So, without further ado, I say 'Take off, hoser!' .
Me: Hey Trevor! Well, it's you last day here at the 'Chat' and I must say, you've come a long way since I first trained you as my dish bit, er, dish grunt.
Trevor: Thanks Boss, that means a lot. Why I remember...
Me: Whatever, are you still talking? Anyway, to show our appreciation for all you've done here, we chipped in and got you a few gifts...
Me: What kind of friend would I be if I let you go nort withoot some essential survival tools?
Trevor: Yeah, speaking of 'tools'...
Me: I'll ignore that.
Me:The first thing I got you was a Moose Musket...
Trevor: Moose humor? So original.
Me: What, you think this a joke? Let me tell you son, the Great Northern Moose Knuckle is not something to be trifled with! Trust me, if one of those hairy bipeds gets you in a scissor hold, you'll be thankin' your lucky stars you have this baby!
Me: Next, I got you some light summer-wear. Here are your Canadian flip-flops...
Me:...some thermal underwear...
Trevor: Is that a 'onesi'?
Me:...and a down filled parka.
Trevor: Light summer-wear? Your freakin' hilarious.
Me: This next item is to be used with caution, it's very potent. This is a special bear repellent. It's a powerful combination of Patchouli oil, ferret pheromones, and Phipson urine.
Trevor: What is a Phipson?
Me: Not important. Trust me, there are some things you just don't want to know...
Trevor:*gulp* Ugh! This stuff tastes terrible!
Me: Dude, it's a topical.
Trevor: Wow, thanks for all the stuff, Boss. Now I just have to figure out how I'm gonna cram all this into my car...
Me: Actually, there is one more thing that might solve that problem...
Me: Say hello to your Canadianized snow-cat!
Trevor: Get the f%*# outa here!
Me: Here we have your emergency radio and of course the Moose Musket...
Me: Inside the cab you have your usual gauges and so forth. Over here is your stock Spark-O-Matic tape deck. The stations are all preset for you; hockey report, weather report, flannel report, all Canadia all the time!
Me: Over on this side we have a holder for your Canadian flip-flops. Then, in the back we have...
Me: A full keg of Molsen's!
Trevor: That is sooo RAD!
Me: This way you can properly hydrate wherever you go! Just remember, if you need both hands to fill your drink while your driving, make sure your knee has a firm grip on the wheel. Safety first!
Me: Of course this whole thing wouldn't be complete withoot the vanity plate!
Trevor: Seriously dude, you're a tool!
Me: Well, you can't win the lottery all the time...
Trevor: Once again, thanks for everything. Any last bits of advice before I take off?
Me: Yeah, up there they call it Canadian style and it's so she can watch the game too.
Me: Man, I almost forgot! We put together this mixed tape of songs to listen to driving up. It's complete with Brian Adams, Gordan Lightfoot, Ann Murray, Celine Dion, Guess Who, BTO, Rush and lot's of Anvil. It will help you acclimate quicker! With that, I wish you the best of luck! Now, take off hoser!
Some shots of the snow-cat and a shot of the empty bar
Fourth dimension commentary: The idea for this MOC first came to mind after ordering one of Heather and Alex's cool SlickBrick plates for Sig Hansi; why not get one for Trevor? 'T-Bag', believe it or not, is a term of endearment in this case.(although HE may disagree) I couldn't just give him the plate and a sig-fig wasn't enough either, so I had to build something for the plate to go on. The snow-cat seemed like the most appropriate, so I spent two days tinkering and this is what I came up with. The bar was heavily inspired (stolen) from Dave Shaddix's Tending Bar vig. Well, the bottles and the foot rest anyway. I would have spent more time with the snow-cat presentation but I ran out of time and didn't have the pieces for what I had in mind. All Canadian humor is just that, HUMOR! I happen to love Canadia. I have a friend who's Canadian. A great aunt who's Canadian. I just think they should have to use seperate water fountains, that's all. Lastly, to Trevor: Thanks for everything you did! You made my life easier and that is greatly appreciated. Good assistants are hard to find and in my 12 years at the Chateau, you were one of the best. Your hard work and high-larious sense of humor made the work place enjoyable. So go forth, make me proud, and show those Canadians what cooking is all aboot!~H