Leda Wars; Episode VI - Return of the Kiwi . Meanwhile, somewhere in America... .
The streets of Spooky Town USA were quiet that evening,
as the inhabitants were at the Two Skulls Tavern celebrating the Wolfman's birthday.
Mister Bones was there, but he wasn't in the mood for partying. He had been feeling a little bit glum of late, so decided to give himself a pep talk to boost his spirits.
"You the best mocer ever!" he told his reflection in mirror of the men's room, "Yeah you are!! Who's the best?! You the best!!"
He felt a little better, but still couldn't face a raucous Monsters Mash. So he headed home for a relaxing night in.
As he passed the alley behind the tavern he felt a strange sense of foreboding in the air.
Was somebody there? He heard a snarl coming from down the end of the alleyway and he stopped dead in his tracks.
"Who's there?!" he asked boldly... famous last words.
A shrill Kiwi accent rang out in the night, "MISTER BONES!" it sung. Mister Bones nearly lost his stomach. He reached into his pocket and fumbled for his lighter.
"OH HOLY MOTHER ******!!!"
"Girl you crazy!!!"
"I know!" Leda-Face smirked, "Doggy want a bone?!"
Bones had never run so fast in all his years on earth.
He ran screaming for his life,
squealing like a girl.
"How do you like them apples?!" Leda-Face yelled as she ran after him with her chainsaw held high.
Just then, the raucous monsters stumbled from the tavern, as drunken idiots do,
singing and swaying and dancing and belching,
directly in the path of Bones!
OH the humanity!!!
Frank jr. landed on his head,
Casper was flung into the dripping pool of toxic waste coming from the balcony of the dubious store across the road...
and as for Bones, all was hopeless...
As the mighty Toto bore down on him the world began to spin and he could feel the icy fingers of Death tickle his neck.
"No!!!" he pleaded and his life flashed before his eyes:
His pee-wee baseball tryouts, his first kiss at the homecoming dance, that time he grew his hair long and bleached it white, his first landing on the moon...
He came to as he heard somebody calling his name through the thick fog of faintness.
Leda-Face stood over him, she offered her hand out to help him up.
"Hey mate," she said, "great to meet ya. Sorry if I startled you just now, but you see that's how us Kiwis say hello in New Zealand... otherside of the world you know, we do things a little differently."
For the first time ever Bones was without words. There was a very long and uncomfortable silence, then Leda said, "... so, um, you cool with that?"
"Ah, yeah... sure... ok." Bones hesitantly said, "Well, I'm just gonna go stand over here now... weirdo."
Famous last words...