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LIU Atlas - Panarium . There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. . LIU Atlas - Panarium The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds. Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo. Onboard Doog's ship, the Magellan: Mike: “Doog, buddy, why do you look so somber? We got our old jobs back. We didn’t even get punished!” Doog: “Not true. I just spoke with the producers. We are being punished severely…” Mike: “Wait! What? Are we going to prison?” Doog: “Nope. Even worse…” Mike: “Noooo…tell me it isn’t so!” Doog: “Sorry Mike, it’s true. We’re doing a show on an agricultural world.” Mike: “What did we do to deserve this!” Doog: “Welcome to Season Four of LIU Atlas. I'm your host, Terrance "Doog" McDoogal. Today, were visiting the planet Panarium. Panarium sits in the barycenter of a binary system. Colpha A and B, two very bright stars, seemingly orbit the planet, bathing it in endless light. In fact, the stars are so bright, we couldn’t image the planet directly. You are seeing a heavily filtered scan from the Almagest Mapping Center.” Doog: “Panarium has no atmosphere or natural water, and it is constantly bombarded with radiation. How can this desolate place be a agricultural world? Easy, by growing the crops inside huge facilities. One of these facilities has come into view as our ship circles towards the planet’s surface. It appears that large mirrors are reflecting light towards the facility.” Doog: “Alright. Let’s get this over with. Oh…great. A guy with overalls. What could be more cliché on an agricultural planet?” Ged: “You must be Doog. Hi, I’m Ged, supervisor of this facility.” Doog: “Hey Ged. So look, I have to ask. Why build a farm on such a desolate planet? I mean, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” Ged: “Well Doog, Panarium a pretty special place. It receives more sunlight than most of the worlds in the LIU Galaxy. The more sunlight you have, the more crops you can yield. The only real impediment to farming here is the lack of water. We must import all the water we use.” Doog: “I see. Well, shall we continue.” Ged: “Sure. Water and light are piped from substations like this to the fields. If you follow me…” Doog: “Wait! Did you say that you pipe light?” Ged: “Yep, these pipes use fiber optics and mirrors to direct light from the planet’s surface down to our farms.” Doog: “Cool, but you know what, lighting pipes is still cooler than piping light.” Ged: “Uh…sure.” Doog: “Don’t you get it? You know…lighting pipes? Never mind. Let’s continue.” Ged: “Sure. Let’s take this elevator to the bottom of field #4.” Ged: “Welcome to field four, tunnel eight, Doog.” Doog: “Wow, I can’t even see the top.” Ged: “Yep. Right now, we’re about five miles below the surface. The tunnel goes all the way to the top.” Doog: “You’re farming on the walls?” Ged: “Sure. By growing food on the walls of the tunnels, we maximize the amount of surface area available. The light pipes transfer light to this light tube which distributes it evenly all along the tunnel.” Doog: “How’s the dirt sticking to the wall?” Ged: “That’s classified Doog.” Doog: “It’s classified or you just don’t know?” Ged: “Uh…let’s move on.” Ged: “Here on Panarium, we grow various foodstuffs, like fruits, vegetables, and grains. Our farm feeds about 4% of the LIU population, one of the highest percentages in the galaxy.” Doog: “What’s that?” Ged: “That’s a LIU Automated Pruner and Picker. These automated robots take care of all the crops and insure maximum yield. They also harvest the food when the time comes. It saves us a lot of time and money, besides its hard for humans to farm sideways.” Doog: “I can’t argue with that.” Doog: “Well, is there anything else for us to talk about down here? It’s pretty bright, and I don’t have cool shades like you.” Ged: “I think that’s it. Shall we…” APP: “FOREIGN CONTAMINANT DETECTED. CONTAMINANT IS ORGANIC IN NATURE. CONTAMINANT CONTAINS TOO MUCH FATTY TISSUE TO BE PLANT YET THE BRAINWAVES ASSOCIATED WITH ADVANCED LIFE ARE NOT DETECTED. POSSIBLE PEST. BEGINNING QUARANTINE.” Doog: “Dude, I think your machine is broken.” Doog: “Wait Ahhhhhh!” Ged: “Doog! Hold on! I’m so sorry, this has never happened before. We must have set the brainwave detector too high!” Doog: “What’s happening Ged!?!” Ged: “Doog, hang on. The APP has dropped you into a compost chute. I’ll be down in a minute.” Doog: “Well folks, it appears I’ve been thrown away. This organic sludge smells terrible, and its slowly seeping into my underwear.” Ged: “Doog! Are you ok?” Doog: “I’m standing waist deep in rotting vegetation. I’m pretty sure I’m not ok. Ged: “You need to hurry up and get out.” Doog: “Nah, I’m already in the sludge. We might as well use it on the show. So, tell me about this compost pit.” Ged: “Doog! We don’t have time!” Doog: “I have all the time in the world Ged.” Ged: “Fine! We try not to waste any of our resources. Weeds, plants, and rotten produce are thrown into compost pits, like this. The sludge is used to add nutrients back into the soil. Unfortunately, the natural decay of the vegetation is too slow, so we’ve added squid-like creatures to the pit to speed up the process!” Doog: “Wait…what was that last part?” Doog: “Ahhhh!” Ged: “I told you to get out fast!” Doog: “Whew, that was close. Well Ged, where are we now?” Ged: “As you saw in the compost pit, we try to recycle as much of our resources as possible. Here, in this room, we recycle water. Water is in short supply here, and we can’t afford to waste much.” Doog: “I don’t see any water here Ged.” Ged: “That’s because the water is in the crops. You see, we can’t afford to ship out the produce with water still inside it. We’d lose valuable water with every shipment. Instead, we bring the crops to large dehydration chambers like this.” Ged: “It’s dangerous for us to be inside this room for too long, otherwise we might be dehydrated also. Instead, we use robots to manage the chamber. This robot here is wheeling a container of apples deeper into the chamber.” Doog: “Hey, my pants are already dry!” Ged: “I had one of the robots leave a fully dehydrated container here for you to see. The food has shriveled up. We lose less water, and the product is much smaller which makes it cheaper to ship. “ Doog: “Hmm, dehydrated plums, don’t mind if I do.” Ged: “Actually, that’s an eggplant.” Doog: “Eww…nasty. Well folks, Panarium is a pretty important place. Its advanced technology allows it to feed a large part of the LIU’s population. My crew and I are happy to be back. Hope you are happy to see us too. Until next time, farewell." Note: Try the Panarium Suntan Chamber on the 15th floor.


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