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LIU Atlas - Nuntius Station . There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. . LIU Atlas - Nuntius Station #7 The Ludgonian Industrial Union’s galaxy contains billions of stars and planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds. Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo. Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting a subspace communication relay known as Nuntius Station #7. The sixteen Nuntius Stations in the LIU Galaxy route communications across the galaxy. Communications sent via subspace are subject to distortion due to gravity, black holes, and various physical obstacles. In order to send clear, nearly instant messages across the galaxy, communications must be routed between Nuntius Stations. The stations have a direct line of sight, and complex algorithms have been devised to compensate for any gravitational issues. Using data and locations calculated by the OmniStar AI, the Nuntius Stations are able to send and receive signals from all the worlds in the LIU Galaxy.” Doog: “This crude, low resolution graphic of the LIU Galaxy shows the location of the sixteen Nuntius Stations. The stations, depicted as green dots, are located in the gaps between the galaxy’s spiral arms.” Doog: “I’ve boarded the station via the docking bay, and I’m making my way down the hall to meet my guide. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but today we have our first female guide since that manly woman on Adiutrix. Anything has to be better than that. Ah, I see someone now.” Doog: “You have to be f*$&ing kidding me. What is this?” Woman: “Excuse me?” Doog: “A one tooth old hag. Seriously. What did I do to deserve this!” Woman: “Hey, screw you! Who are you anyway? Security!” Amare: “That won’t be necessary Helga. Doog is our guest. Hi Doog, I’m Amare, your guide.” Doog: “I…I…don’t have words.” Doog: “You…you…are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. More beautiful than a triple sunrise on Solus. Your smile shines brighter than the sun on Ignea Avis. When I look at you, I feel as weightless as I was on Trahaxi.” Amare: “Are you ok? You seemed to be disorientated, and you were mumbling.” Doog: “I…I didn’t say that aloud? I mean, uh, yeah, fine.” Amare: “Alright. Just checking. I thought you may have come down with hyperspace sickness. Disorientation, blurry vision, mumbling can all be symptoms.” Doog: “No, I’m fine. I mean I travel in hyperspace all the time. I have my own ship.” Amare: “I know that silly. I watch your show all the time. Hyperspace sickness is a little different though. Come with me, I‘ll tell you about it on the way.” Amare: “In order for the Nuntius Station to send and receive subspace communications, the station must be in hyperspace. But any first year physics student could tell you, you must have a velocity to stay in hyperspace. Unfortunately, this station can’t have a velocity. We must stay stationary in order to have a stable position to receive subspace communications. Instead, the station pulses in and out of hyperspace thousands of times a minute, moving only a few nanometers each jump. The constant switch from real space to hyperspace can cause hyperspace sickness. When you travel in your ship, you only enter hyperspace once. Already today, you entered hyperspace several thousand times.” Doog: “I see. So…does your boyfriend get hyperspace sickness?” Amare: “I…I don’t have a boyfriend Doog.” Doog: “Oh, no worries. I don’t have a girlfriend. I guess we’re more alike than we thought.” Amare: “Ha. I guess so.” Amare: “This is one of the station’s six hyperspace engines. The engines, arranged evenly around the station, take turns pulsing in and out of hyperspace. When one side fires, the opposite side counters and moves the station back to its original position. Essentially, the whole station is vibrating in and out of hyperspace.” Doog: “You sure like saying ‘hyperspace’ a lot.” Amare: “Ha. I suppose I do. Sorry. I’m probably running my mouth too much. I just talk a lot when I’m nervous.” Doog: “No! Not at all. I love when you talk. You’re so smart.” Amare: “Aww. Well I guess I could tell you about the…” Doog: “Whoa. Not again. Don’t mess this up stupid. This girl might like you.” Amare: “Are you ok? I feel like I lost you again for a second.” Doog: “No, no. Not at all. Very interesting stuff. Shall we continue?” Amare: “This room here houses the station’s sorting matrix. The matrix reads the communications’ origination and destination codes and routes them to the appropriate subspace transmitter. However, before any message is shipped out, it must go through one more step.” Doog: “What’s that?” Amare: “Come with me. I’ll show you.” Doog: “Uhh…here it comes again. Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up!” Amare: “Doog! Are you really alright? You don’t have to hide hyperspace sickness. I wouldn’t think any less of you.” Doog: “I’m fine Amare. If I appeared to be disoriented, it’s because I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve never met anyone like you. I don’t want to this day to be over.” Amare: “Really? I’ve never met anyone like you either. Maybe we could meet up again after the show.” Doog: “I’d like that.” Doog: “So…ahem…this is the next step?” Amare: “Yes. This is the Communication Monitoring Station. All communications received by this station, or any Nuntius Station, are monitored for signs of rebellion, insurrection, thefts, et cetera.” Doog: “You read other peoples mail?” Amare: “That statement is incorrect for two reasons…” Amare: “…first of all, we monitor more than just communications. This station monitors all information sent on the LIU’s subspace spectrum.” Amare: “Secondly, we don’t read the information, the Watchdog AI reads all the information.” Doog: “The Watchdog AI?” Amare: “Yep. There is way too much information for us to read any of it. The AI can reads trillions of messages every minute. When the AI detects information that requires our attention, it sends the information to one of the stations to your left.” Amare: “Hey, number Seven. How are you today?” Seven: “Oh…not so great. You ever have one of those days where everyone wants to talk your ear off and all you want is some peace and quiet? I have that day about every second.” Amare: “Oh, come on Seven. You know as well as I do that you love the gossip. Come on, anything interesting today?” Seven: “I suppose you’re right. Let’s see. There is some pretty interesting chatter on the military spectrum, but that’s classified. Ooh, here we go. Captain Jolly Doom and his crew have sacked another freighter near the Pirata Nebula. I’m being flooded with messages requesting assistance. Oh, wait, its been transferred to the military spectrum. Sorry, Amare.” Amare: “Oh well. Maybe next time.” Doog: “Ahhh! It’s accelerating. Don’t throw up! Whoa! It’s moved lower, at lot lower! Don’t crap yourself! Don’t crap yourself!” Amare: “…and that’s what we do when we receive a troublesome report for the Watchdog AI.” Doog: “Great. We’ll I guess that about wraps it up. I better be heading back to my ship now.” Amare: “Let me walk you there. I want to say goodbye.” Doog: “Uhhh…...” Amare: “I’m glad you are ok. I thought you getting sick for a while there. I’m glad you’re honest with me. That’s what I like about you. You always honest, always saying what is on your mind.” Amare: “I know this sounds crazy, but after watching all your shows and meeting you here today…I think I’m in love with you.” Doog: “I…I…think I love you too.” Amare: “Then what are you waiting for Terrance. Kiss me…” Doog: “Blaaaaaahhh!” Amare: “Oh my Emperor! Gross! You were lying to me! I thought you were the honest man I was always looking for! We’re over!” Doog: “Amare, no! Come back! I’d chase you, but the force of my vomit caused a level five shart in my boxers! See, I am honest! Dang it. Well folks, the Nuntius Stations are an important part of the LIU. I don’t really feel like saying anymore than that. See ya next time. Amare!” Note: “Planets or star systems that don’t have a direct line of sight to a Nuntius Station must route communications through smaller substations or satellite arrays. Attempting to bypass the Nuntius Array, or sending direct communications to other planets or ships without permission, is strictly forbidden.”


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