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Mountain Assault . Violence, death, destruction, chaos! Hooray for BrikWars! . My first Brikwars game. It started as a simple two-way battle between insanely unbalanced armies contolled by me and my brother. Later my friend Paul came over and joined in the chaos. Overview of the tiny, tiny battlefield. A little cave. More battlefields should come equipped with little caves, because they rock. The defending rebels had a little closet containing barrels of alcoholic beverages, with a secret door into the cave in the back. Mike's (my brother's) army... ...and the place where they hang out. Part of my army... ...and the rest of my army. Mike's army, secretly hiding in their secret hideout. Shhh! In the excitement, I forgot to take pictures that aren't blurry. The scum of the earth! Mike's archer starts the action by slaying the scum of the earth. The rebels swarm out of their base. Well, they mostly got bottlenecked at the exit. The scum of the earth being consumed by a big ol' fish, while my soldiers begin to cross the bridge. And one of my ninjas begins sneaking up the side of the mountain. The rebels chopped down the bridge, making it virtually impossible for my soldiers to kill them. Punks. This extra bridge we brought helped a little... Except that the rebels destroyed that too. My soldiers getting all clogged up, trying to cross a bridge that just isn't there. Yup. Same thing again. So this canoe seems like the best way to get across the creek, but one of Mike's skeletons is in control of it. One of my dudes swam across, dodging the shark. Earthquake!!!!! Another army mysteriously appears! Oh no! The creek is too small for that boat! So much fatality... A vampire. My army hates the undead. Speaking of the undead...you'd think skeleton warriors would be ruthless dedicated soldiers. But Mike's skeletons were both heavy drinkers and lazy. Pez? Paul's ninja attacks one of my knights. That guy was annoying. (the ninja, not paul.) Paul's knights prepare to wreak havoc upon my not-so-well-laid plans. That vampire bites one of my soldiers. I hate vampires. Mike tried to shoot flaming arrows at the canoe, but he hit Paul's boat. I love Brikwars. Being bit by a vampire caused my soldier not only to turn into a vampire, but also to turn into a woman. Man, that guy's pants caught fire. It's scary when you think that this could happen to anyone. Ah, those horrid knights in the giant boat mysteriously vanished. This should make things a little easier. And then we gave up, because we were confused. The battle ends with a meteor strike, which somehow simultaneously repaired the bridge and destroyed the entire rest of the battlefield.


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