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LIU Atlas - Mordax . There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. . LIU Atlas - Mordax The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds. Doog: "Welcome to another episode of TV2's newest program, LIU Atlas. I'm your host, Terrance "Doog" McDoogal. This week, I'm here to show you the obscure world of Mordax. Mordax, a small moon, orbits the gas giant Morth, which in turn, orbits the red dwarf Morhoda. Mordax's weak gravity and its galactic position in the outer spiral arm make it a perfect Shipping World." Doog: "Strangely enough, Mordax is famous outside of the LIU, but less than 1% of LIU residents could tell you anything about it. That's because Mordax is an export shipping world. Trillions of cargo containers, full of LIU products, leave Mordax's surface every week enroute to galaxies all across the universe." Doog: "This week, I'm joined by the Mordax Dockside Supervisor Vinny. How are you Vinny?" Vinny: "I'm [bleeping] great Doog. How are you?" Doog: "Yeah, Vinny I'm going to need you to cut out the profanity. This is a family show." Vinny: "[Bleep] you Doog. That's how we talk here. You want your [bleeping] show to be accurate right?" Doog: "Uh, yeah, I guess. I'll go ahead and apologize to the editor now, he's got quite the job ahead of him. Anyway, where are we?" Vinny: "Well Doog, this is one of two thousand warehouses on Mordax's surface." Doog: "Wow Vinny, you said that without profanity, nice job!" Vinny: "[Bleeping] [bleep] [bleepity] [bleep] Doog. How's that you [bleep]." Doog: "Uh, anyway, there sure are a lot of containers. What's inside?" Vinny: "How the [bleep] am I supposed to know? We ship everything from pencils to hot tubs to suicide kits. All I know, is where the [bleep] they go." Doog: "Well, can you tell me this? How do you get them stacked so high?" Vinny: "That, I can tell you. We use the LIU Hoverlift. It's [bleeping] great. It can stack em' as high as you [bleeping] want." Doog: "Well Vinny, I wouldn't be a good LIU employee if I didn't take this time to plug a few LIU products. Here we go." Doog: "The LIU Hoverlift is a perfect fit for any spaceport. Its revolutionary hover ability allows you to store cargo vertically instead of horizontally. This saves space and money. Buy one now!" Doog: "And while you're at it, check out our LIU Hover Dolly. It's great for those smaller packages." Doog: "And heck, why don't you pick up a LIU Hoverlift Mini while you're at it." Vinny: "Are you [bleeping] done Doog? I didn't [bleeping] come here to [bleeping] star in any [bleeping] commercials!" Doog: "Yeah Vinny, let's move on. How do you get the cargo off Mordax?" Vinny: "Finally, a good [bleeping] question! We have two ways. The first way is the traditional way. We load it into a cargo ship on the surface. This method is costly and really [bleeping] slow. We only use it for containers or products that can't be de-moleculized." Doog: "Can't be de-what?" Vinny: "De-moleculized, you [bleep]." Doog: "Yeah, I heard you the first time Vinny. What's de-moleculized?" Vinny: "Well, see this machine behind you? It's a LIU Worm Hole Generator. It converts cargo containers into individual molecules and beams them via a worm hole to cargo ships in orbit. Pretty [bleeping] cool, huh?" Doog: "That's really cool Vinny, but if you don't mind me asking, why don't you just open a worm hole all the way to the cargo's destination?" Vinny: "I do [bleeping] mind you asking, but if you must [bleeping] know, the LIU Worm Hole Generator requires vast amounts of energy. It would take trillions of times more energy to beam cargo directly to its [bleepin] destination." Doog: "Ahh, that makes sense, I guess. Well Vinny, I love shipping, but I want the audience to get a closer look at Mordax's culture and way of life. Do you think I could show me something outside of the shipping yards?" Vinny: "For {bleeps] sake Doog, I'd love to. I want to get out of this [bleeping] place just as much as you. Let's head to Sicarious." Note: While we travel to Sicarious, I have turned off Vinny's microphone. The editors will need a break... Doog: "Vinny and I traveled east about twenty miles to the city of Sicarious. The city, built inside a large crater, is the largest on Mordax. About ten million people live in Sicarious." Doog: "The city doesn't quite look large enough for ten million people, but according to Vinny, most of the buildings are residential. All the residents work in the shipyards, so there was little need to build commercial or industrial complexes within the city." Doog: "The large dome in the corner of Sicarious is a sports stadium. According to Vinny, Cyborg Gladiator Battles are a popular sport in Mordax. Apparently, each city has its own Gladiator. The thing that catches my eye the most, however, is the green sea next to the city. Hopefully, Vinny can take me there. Doog: "Well Vinny, I turned your microphone back on, and I'm curious. What is up with this green sea?" Vinny: "Mordax was originally a dry planet. There was very little natural water. As we began to import water to the surface, we found that the dry planet sucked it up like a [bleeping] [bleep] on a [bleep] [bleep]. To make it harder to absorb, we added large amounts of algae to the water. The thick algae mass holds the water on the surface. Besides that, the algae serves as a major source of food here on Mordax." Doog: "Hmm, that's interesting Vinny. Can people swim in there?" Vinny: "If your a [bleeping] idiot you can swim in here. The algae is so thick you'll be stuck like a two dollar [bleep] on a [bleep]. Look at this [bleep]. He's stuck." Doog: "Should we help him?" Vinny: "[Bleep] him Doog. It's his own [bleeping] fault." Guy: "Are you [bleeping] [bleepers] going to [bleeping] leave me here in this [bleep]!" Doog: "You know what Vinny, you're right, [bleep] this guy." Vinny: "Hey! Doog! Now you're talking our language. [Bleep] yeah! Just for that, I'm going to take you out to eat Doog." Vinny: "This is a famous Mordax dish, Doog." Doog: "What is it Vinny?" Vinny: "It's a Fried Algae Burger." Doog: "Well folks, I can't say much about Mordax's food or language, but I can say that it is an important part of the LIU. I hope you learned a thing or two. Join us next time as we visit the planet of Obex." Note: Sorry it took so long bring LIU Atlas - Mordax to your TV sets. A large amount of editing and language censorship was required. [Bleep] Vinny and his [bleeping] mouth.


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