Shannonia expands: Lakes District . Home of the third-degree swimmer's itch! . I hope you're wearing a life jacket, because we're going out on the water -- and the Mayor has been known to rock the boat on occasion.
Too popular for its own good, Big Skunk Lake is at all times choked with so many boats that no one has room to waterski anymore, the native lake trout it was once famous for have been wiped out by trash and pollution and invasive species, and so many screaming kids splash in the shallows that not even the hungriest duck will brave that scene for tossed bread crumbs.
Boat trailer parking. The yellow-roofed building houses jet ski and canoe rentals, and overpriced snacks and soft drinks if you were an idiot and forgot to bring your own refreshments.
Bouncy's topless bar. Now hiring, Heather. Hey, you gotta support that Lego habit somehow. Just think of the tips you could squeeze out of all these pathetic lonely MOCpagers in various stages of arrested development.
A mysterious plague has swept through Shannonia's forests -- every single one of our trees has been found to be hollow.
The Skunk Foundation. Sort of a hybrid think tank/artist's colony. Their mission statement is "Improving the world we live in through use of LegoŽ brand building toys."
Funky Skunk dance club. Stabbings nightly.
In contrast to Big Skunk Lake, Little Skunk Lake is a limited access nature preserve and bird sanctuary. Oh, the fishing here would be sublime -- if you were allowed in. Which you're not. In fact, you're standing too close now. BACK OFF! Just can't wait to get in here and pollute the water, strew trash around, kill off all the animals, chop down all the trees, and pave over everything, can you? CAN YOU?!
You might think that these lakes exist because for the price of some blue tiles and green cones, the Mayor was spared the odious duty of designing yet more city buildings. But really it's all due to natural processes, simple geology. Ask any scientist.
Mum's. Sometimes you want to go where nobody knows your name. At Mum's, nobody wants to know. And if anybody comes asking, nobody saw nothing -- as long as you tip your bartender well.
Nellie's Deli. Business owners whose names rhyme with their business get substantial tax breaks in Shannonia.
Lake Aguazul. Another public recreation area, and the best freshwater fishing in Shannonia. However, no motorized craft are allowed on the water. You have to row, row, row your boat yourself. And start lining up for the privilege the night before, since only a few boats are allowed in at any one time.
I was just admiring the loveliness of this shot -- until I noticed one of the struts on the stadium about to give way and collapse. God, I hope nobody's in there right now...
Runway Cafe. There are people who hang out here all day and all night just watching planes take off and land. You may think they're a bunch of losers -- but they think the same of you and your Lego hobby.
Skunkwater Condos. Don't worry, we drained the marshes around the building, so the skunk cabbages and their smell are all gone. Of course, the skunk cabbage was the only food of the endangered pygmy tiger panda, and they're now extinct on the mainland as a direct result. Unfortunately for the pygmy tiger panda, they're not quite cute enough for anyone to care.
Smokehouse Bar and Grill. Foreigners often deride American cuisine, but their minds are changed at the Smokehouse. Undoing the damage wrought by McDonalds, one meal at a time.
Take one last longing look at the water (paying no attention to that faultline between the runways, the lake, and The Skunk Works complex, please), because we go back downtown after this.